1. It’s okay to be yourself. I recently added that little mantra to my blog because I’ve always supported and admired authenticity. For years I struggled with the need to be liked by everyone and I often felt that I did something wrong when someone didn’t like me. I learned that it’s okay to be yourself. It’s okay to be comfortable in who you are as a person and comfortably exist in who you are.
2. Lean on the people you love. For the longest time, I tried to appear to have it all together and I wanted to be the one other people came to with their problems. I didn’t want to unload my problems onto anyone else. I finally realized how self-destructive that mentality was and I have become more intentional when I ask people how they are doing and I hesitate to say “I’m fine” when they ask me. I am learning to be honest and lean on the people I love for support.
Next time you ask someone how they are doing take time to actually listen to their response.
Text your friends and check on them every now and then. It means a lot. Make time for the people in your life… especially your parents and older relatives. You can learn a lot.
3. Take care of yourself. Your body is your home. It’s been with you since the beginning. Treat it with kindness. I don’t always eat the healthiest, but I am learning to take care of myself. I’m learning to eat healthier but still enjoy the food I eat now. Find some form of exercise (if you are physically able to) that you enjoy. It could be walking, playing tennis, dancing, etc. You’ll thank yourself later.
4. Learn for the sake of learning. I know school is tough for most of us. I’m not a huge fan of it these days. I’m constantly tired. But I realized it was the work that makes me dread school. I do enjoy learning though. I enjoy most of the content I just don’t enjoy drowning in deadlines. I enjoy learning new things. Knowledge is valuable and important.
Make learning fun! Watch game shows and learn cool facts. Read, read, read. Listen to others more. A quote I found says that when people talk they are repeating things they already know, but when people listen that’s when the learning takes place.
5. Believe in something…. and stand up for your beliefs. Whether you decide to follow a religion or you chose not to- find what you believe. I believe you shouldn’t let anyone decide that for you. It’s more genuine and meaningful when you have those epiphanies on your own. Find what you’re passionate about. Whether you’re super into politics or you couldn’t care less, figure out what do care about. Learn and grow in those identities. As we grow, we may even change some of our identities as we learn from the people around us. Remember to always stay tolerant and open minded on your journey.
Also, fight for what’s right. Fight for everyone to have safety, equality, and equity in this world (in whatever way that means for you). Don’t stand for the mistreatment of any human being. Stay woke. Stay updated on what’s going on in the world around you.
6. Don’t go chasing love. It will find you every time I promise. I am a firm believer that people are placed in your life for a reason. I do believe that you will meet your ‘person’ someday. It’s important to get to know yourself and figure out what you want and refuse to settle for anything less. Once I realized I’d rather be alone than ever settle for anything less than I deserved, I began finding comfort in being on my own.
Sometimes the greatest love is the love we receive from our family and friends. Don’t forget to appreciate their love while you’re looking your soulmate.
7. Do what makes you happy and no one else. It’s sad to say but I mostly get negative reactions when I tell people that I plan to teach for a living. I get kind words and encouragement too don’t get me wrong. However, I mostly get told to prepare to: live on a small salary, be underappreciated, and have kids wear my patience thin. But I don’t mind it. My heart is full and my face still lights up when I work with children. I always knew it’s what I wanted to do. I used to teach my stuffed animals in my room. I used to brainstorm lesson plans I’d someday use in my classroom. I am excited and humbled by the opportunity to teach young people and I can’t wait to get started.
8. “Do it Afraid”-Joyce Meyer. I’ve learned to be fearless. I’m still working on it, but I believe taking a small leap is the first step. Moving to Athens to go UGA was something I did afraid. I was scared to leave my close friends and family behind. I was nervous to be a black woman on a predominantly white campus- “what if people aren’t nice of me?” “what if i feel like I don’t belong on UGA’s campus?” were some thoughts that played on repeat in my mind. Going away for college excited a lot of people and it excited me too, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified. That’s mostly why I decided to come here. I wanted to push myself because growth happens when we push ourselves. Growth happens when we defy even our own expectations.
Writing on this blog is also something I do afraid. I was nervous to share my first post. I try to write with a layer of vulnerability. I want you to feel as though you know me (or at least parts of me) through my writing. That’s a very scary thing to do because I’m subjecting myself to criticism, but I am also sharing my passion with the world. I learned that agreeing to try something is the hardest part. It’s all downhill from there.
9. Forgive others and love them unconditionally. That expression “hurt people hurt people” holds so much truth. When you neglect to forgive someone, you’re holding on to pain, anger, bitterness, and all those negative feelings. It takes maturity and courage to forgive someone when they’ve hurt you. It’s easier said than done, but you’ll thank yourself for it later. We’re not perfect. We all fall short. I’ve learned to forgive the people in my life when they hurt me (intentionally or intentionally).
10. Show that same grace you give others to yourself. The scariest realization for me was realizing that I was my own worst enemy. I was constantly aiming for perfection and getting upset when I made a mistake. I found that forgiving others was easy, but forgiving myself was difficult. I struggled to accept myself flaws and all. I’m learning to give myself grace. I’ve learned to appreciate the journey towards the woman I want to become. I’ve learned to accept being a work in progress and know that I can love myself during the process. I’m learning to be my biggest fan. I’m learning that progress is not linear. Progress has ups, downs, zigzags. As long as we get from point a to point b, that’s all that matters right?
11. Love yourself + love others + love life. I’ve learned to stop apologizing for who I am. I’ve learned to accept the good, the bad, and the ugly. Once I began loving myself, I inevitably learned to love others better. I learned to love with intention. I appreciate the amazing people in my life for who they are. I’m using my journey to inspire and help other people. It’s uncomfortable talking about my insecurities, but if anything, I want to thank anyone who’s ever called me fat, ugly, annoying, awkward, etc. A year ago I wouldn’t have even addressed that, but today those words don’t bother me. They made me realize just how much I needed to love myself more than ever. Life is bigger. God is bigger. Life is too beautiful for this whole self-loathing thing guys. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission!
It’s a long journey to get to this point but I promise you it will all make sense one day.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for sticking with this. This whole blog thing in general really. My writing is always a bit of a long read.
It’s been fun and I’ll be here for as long as you’ll have me!
Happy Monday. You’re all awesome and beautiful people.
Use today to reflect on a list of your own lessons you’ve learned.
until next time,